Hey you guys! I got a bush note last week and it is too hilarious not to share! Okay so a bush note is just a note that is passed from village to village til it finally somehow ends up in the right hands. So I was impressed b/c the note was written in English but my Headman was upset b/c he couldn't read it. It is village practice for all communication to go through the Headman first before any messages are delivered to people in the village. It was quite funny b/c my Headman had to walk to the school to get a teacher to interpret the letter for him before he came and passed it to me.
Anywho, here it goes:
Charlye Ramsey,
First and Foralmost I would say how are you? You are here informed that there is a club making a kraal for the goats. Come at 08:00 hours and watch what they are doing.
Yours,
Councillor
Too funny! First and for almost! ha ha! Of course I attened b/c as you have read in my previous blogs I HATE GOATS! I really hate them. And I am so glad the villagers are beginning to learn that walking in goat poop is not cool :)
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Monday, May 21, 2007
True Life- So this is what it’s really like….
Out with the old and in with the new. For the life of a villager, this can be interpreted in many ways. Some of the things I learned during training I have found as very useful, however, as I quickly discovered, I was living the life of luxury in Chongwe. If I was directly taken from the plane to the bush I am not sure if I would have made it. In retrospect, 
life was easy during training however at the time, I thought I had been dropped off in the middle of nowhere. Now I really know what nowhere really is. It is biking uphill 10 km to find electricity, but still no luck in finding running water. It is going for days without realizing that you haven’t spoken English. It is waking up at 4:30 am to chickens and goats and pigs and screaming children just to sweep your dirt yard. It is co-habitating with spiders, termites, lizards, frogs and rats. It is going 4 weeks without washing your hair or looking in a mirror. It is cycling 36 km (22.5 miles) in one day. It is attending traditional ceremonies with men wearing headdresses and animal skins. It is living in a village with a polygamist Headman. It is finding 101 uses for a stick. It is craving pizza so much that you dream you are swimming in marinara sauce. Chimate Village is quite a large village. Mufumu (Headman) Chimate is a polygamist. Between himself and his two wives, they have 20 children, 21 counting his newest child, Kristena Zulu – ME! Following Zambian traditions the Headman passed his tribal name Zulu to me. I am not certain where Kristena came from. It is not Christina or Kristen but a ‘Zamblish’ combination of the two. Now I am expected to name the next born child in the village. There is a young girl who is 6 months pregnant and I thought of giving the name Liberty to her child to represent America. Her pregnancy was unplanned and she and the father of the child do not intend to marry. The father and his family were ordered by the Headman to give the girl two cows and 300,000 kwatcha (about $73). Dowries are a common practice in Zambia. I have been asked countless times how many cows my father is requesting for my dowry. I just tell them that I do not know how to cook nsima and they are no longer interested! A man will not marry a woman if she does not know how to prepare their staple food of nsima. Other than being served on a plate, I have not seen any rats (knock on wood). It is harvest season now but I have been told that once the crops are taken from the fields that the rats come in the villages to look for food. So, I have that to look forward to. As of now I have traded my host family rats for pit latrine bats. The bats have taken residency in the depths of my latrine as their bat cave. I have decided that bats are much more terrifying than rats, I mean aren’t bats just rats with wings? Using your imagination, I am certain that you are able to envision why I am much more afraid of bats in my latrine than rats in my house. Peace Corps Medical Office would get a good laugh from a med report that begins with “Well, I was squatting over my pit latrine when…”.
life was easy during training however at the time, I thought I had been dropped off in the middle of nowhere. Now I really know what nowhere really is. It is biking uphill 10 km to find electricity, but still no luck in finding running water. It is going for days without realizing that you haven’t spoken English. It is waking up at 4:30 am to chickens and goats and pigs and screaming children just to sweep your dirt yard. It is co-habitating with spiders, termites, lizards, frogs and rats. It is going 4 weeks without washing your hair or looking in a mirror. It is cycling 36 km (22.5 miles) in one day. It is attending traditional ceremonies with men wearing headdresses and animal skins. It is living in a village with a polygamist Headman. It is finding 101 uses for a stick. It is craving pizza so much that you dream you are swimming in marinara sauce. Chimate Village is quite a large village. Mufumu (Headman) Chimate is a polygamist. Between himself and his two wives, they have 20 children, 21 counting his newest child, Kristena Zulu – ME! Following Zambian traditions the Headman passed his tribal name Zulu to me. I am not certain where Kristena came from. It is not Christina or Kristen but a ‘Zamblish’ combination of the two. Now I am expected to name the next born child in the village. There is a young girl who is 6 months pregnant and I thought of giving the name Liberty to her child to represent America. Her pregnancy was unplanned and she and the father of the child do not intend to marry. The father and his family were ordered by the Headman to give the girl two cows and 300,000 kwatcha (about $73). Dowries are a common practice in Zambia. I have been asked countless times how many cows my father is requesting for my dowry. I just tell them that I do not know how to cook nsima and they are no longer interested! A man will not marry a woman if she does not know how to prepare their staple food of nsima. Other than being served on a plate, I have not seen any rats (knock on wood). It is harvest season now but I have been told that once the crops are taken from the fields that the rats come in the villages to look for food. So, I have that to look forward to. As of now I have traded my host family rats for pit latrine bats. The bats have taken residency in the depths of my latrine as their bat cave. I have decided that bats are much more terrifying than rats, I mean aren’t bats just rats with wings? Using your imagination, I am certain that you are able to envision why I am much more afraid of bats in my latrine than rats in my house. Peace Corps Medical Office would get a good laugh from a med report that begins with “Well, I was squatting over my pit latrine when…”.Thursday, May 17, 2007
Things I've Learned in Zambia Part Deux
24. It is much easier to carry things on your head (see Emma).
25. Green bananas and oranges are ripe.
26. It's liberating to go 4 weeks without looking in a mirror.
27. Don't drink village beer, they say it makes you blind! (I think we use the term "beer goggles").
28. All of 1980s Goodwill clothing donations must have been sent to Zambia!
29. Yum-Yum Honey Crunch (peanut better) and SaltyCrax (crackers) are the bomb!
30. Living with spiders, lizzards, and termites isn't that bad, however, I could do without the rats and bats!
31. Villagers give drunk a whole new meaning!
32. As homosexuality "doesn't exist" in Zambia, men walking hand in hand is more acceptable than for men and women.
33. An old plastic container can entertain Zambian children for hours.
34. It's okay to read more than one book a day.
35. Attending 3 hour meetings in a not yet mastered 2nd language gives you plenty of time to make lists of things you've learned!
25. Green bananas and oranges are ripe.
26. It's liberating to go 4 weeks without looking in a mirror.
27. Don't drink village beer, they say it makes you blind! (I think we use the term "beer goggles").
28. All of 1980s Goodwill clothing donations must have been sent to Zambia!
29. Yum-Yum Honey Crunch (peanut better) and SaltyCrax (crackers) are the bomb!
30. Living with spiders, lizzards, and termites isn't that bad, however, I could do without the rats and bats!
31. Villagers give drunk a whole new meaning!
32. As homosexuality "doesn't exist" in Zambia, men walking hand in hand is more acceptable than for men and women.
33. An old plastic container can entertain Zambian children for hours.
34. It's okay to read more than one book a day.
35. Attending 3 hour meetings in a not yet mastered 2nd language gives you plenty of time to make lists of things you've learned!
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
Things I have learned in Zambia
1. Refridgerate After openning is just a suggestion.
2. Laziness is relative.
3. Shaving is overrated.
4. You really only need two sets of clothing.
5. White people really can't dance.
6. College dorms were luxury suites.
7. I can beat anyone in a staring contest.
8. Laughter is a universal language.
9. The 10 second rule doesn't apply here, if it falls on the ground I am eatin' it!
10. Don't worry it willl build your immune system.
11. I hate goats.
12. A bucket of water can go a long way.
13. Save everything, you will use it again later.
14. I could steal candy from a child.
15. Green oranges and bananas are ripe.
16. Twenty six years of proper English instruction can be reversed in two short months.
17. Clear your plate, there really are starving children in Africa.
18. Mail from home is like gold!
19. Soya pieces. Why aren't they big in America?
20. I can sit and do nothing for hours on end.
21. Once you get a fire started you will want to cook all day.
22. Burn everything before throwing it into the trash pit (first see number 13).
23. I really stand out in a crowd, being white and all.
2. Laziness is relative.
3. Shaving is overrated.
4. You really only need two sets of clothing.
5. White people really can't dance.
6. College dorms were luxury suites.
7. I can beat anyone in a staring contest.
8. Laughter is a universal language.
9. The 10 second rule doesn't apply here, if it falls on the ground I am eatin' it!
10. Don't worry it willl build your immune system.
11. I hate goats.
12. A bucket of water can go a long way.
13. Save everything, you will use it again later.
14. I could steal candy from a child.
15. Green oranges and bananas are ripe.
16. Twenty six years of proper English instruction can be reversed in two short months.
17. Clear your plate, there really are starving children in Africa.
18. Mail from home is like gold!
19. Soya pieces. Why aren't they big in America?
20. I can sit and do nothing for hours on end.
21. Once you get a fire started you will want to cook all day.
22. Burn everything before throwing it into the trash pit (first see number 13).
23. I really stand out in a crowd, being white and all.
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